When life crashes, who is our strength?

As life seems to be crashing down upon me I am reminded of a couple verses in Psalm 139:23-24 – “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Now certainly I feel there are times when depression is reining supreme in my life yet I know deep down it is not a lasting condition. Yet while in the midst of a storm, it can be overwhelming. There are many who have endured and continue to experience true trials and afflictions which indeed warrant anxiety. You may be able to relate. The Apostle Paul surely had reason to experience depression and anxiety. He was involved in ship wrecks, wrongfully beaten, imprisoned and chained and let us not forget all the verbal abuse he received on a daily basis preaching Jesus Christ.
I believe God uses anxiety and affliction for His purpose in helping us to grow. The test is than, who is our strength? In Psalm 18:32 it says “ God-He clothes me with strength and makes my way perfect.” And in Psalm 119:71 is written “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes.” I may know this intellectually when things are going good but do I put it into practice when trouble comes my way? Unfortunately many times, this has not been the case in my life.
When life gets heavy, even if one should have a similar plea as the Psalmist in Psalm 119:25 when it is written “I lie in the dust, completely discouraged; revive me by your word. “ This would be what God would desire. Additionally, am I willing that God should search me? Who am I that I should think I can dictate what God can and cannot do in my life? And yet, I find myself more often than not, doing just that too. I believe this would be a perfect example of a wicked way spoken of in our opening verse. (Psalm 139:23-24 – “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”)
And so may it be that we can say wholeheartedly as in Psalm 119:67 “Before I was afflicted I went astray, But now I keep Your word." And likewise may I take to heart Psalm 119:75 “I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right, And that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.”
Psalm 30:5 – ’For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. ‘